absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
