You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
as a side note pls kill me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
