Having a random hookup so left but love u
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
