he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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