playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
