i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
