Just mADE A PArabola og urine
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
