all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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