well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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