Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
