I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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