Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
