O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
