New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
