Christians are straight up FREAKS
someone threw a dead crab at me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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