Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
