Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Please, let me fuck your mom
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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