I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
