Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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