I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
