Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
