This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
