Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
