Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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