you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
