I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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