i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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