is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
