Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize