Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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