he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize