This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
