I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
