But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
