i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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