Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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