why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
