Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
