just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
