Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
