Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
