Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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