btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
