I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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