Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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