Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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