Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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