he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
