Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
