they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
