You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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