why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
