I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
