i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
