I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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