yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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