There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
