i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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