Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize