I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
