That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
